Living with America: Ford F150 (2000)

Introduction / Jason
It all began, as most things do, as a crazy scheme. My friend offered to exchange cars for one week. “Which one of yours?” I asked. “The Civic?”

“What about the F150?”

Silence.

“Hello? Are you there, Jas?”

Unbeknownst to my friend, a gleam had suddenly developed in my eye. Images of me driving the country’s (and probably the world’s) largest pickup truck were swirling before my eyes. I had to downplay my enthusiasm, or my friend might change his mind. I adopted a nonchalant tone, bordering on the reluctant:

“Oh, okay. I guess I won’t mind.”

So it began.

Tuesday Night / Jason

This was the night that we exchanged cars. Not really paying attention to these things before, I got my first long look at the Ford F150.

The F150 is, in a word, huge. Getting it out my friend’s labyrinthine garage wasn’t too difficult, but it required extra caution. All three dimensions were involved here: height, width and length. I had to make sure not to stick it under split-aircon outdoor units that were hanging from the garage ceiling. Things we wouldn’t even worry about in a car but well within our line of sight from the F150 cockpit.

With columns liberally scattered around the garage, I had to make sure the truck didn’t end up like a pinball. The most daunting dimension though was the length. I thought an S-class Mercedes was long enough. Yet the Ford is far longer than the Merc, stretching almost 600 mm more!

For the first time ever, I was thankful for an automatic transmission. It helped that I only had to pull the gearstick mounted on the steering column, just release the brake, and steer. Centimeter by centimeter I maneuvered the truck towards the exit.

Whew! Finally out of the garage! With a grin, I shifted to Drive, swung the truck’s steering wheel, and merged with traffic.

Aware of the truck’s bulk, I gave other vehicles a wide berth. Until I discovered that wasn’t necessary. Cars and jeeps got out of my way, voluntarily! That brutish visage isn’t for nothing, after all.

I figured out that cornering speed is limited by courage more than the tires. I reached the limits of my own bravery long before I tested the truck’s own cornering limits. I felt the body sway and tilt under me, and I was aware of the massive vehicle behind me. It was certainly stable, but I just felt in my gut that this would definitely not corner anything like a car will. So corners that I usually took at 50 km/h in a sedan I drove through at a meek 25 km/h. After all, I heard of someone rolling one of these trucks here in the Philippines.

I drove home with a silly grin pasted on my face, but the grin disappeared when I realized that I would have to fit the truck into my garage as well. I was not surprised to discover that in a parking space that is very roomy for a Cefiro, the F150 took up all available space. In all three dimensions. There was just enough space for me to get down from the truck. I couldn’t help but pace several times around it to admire its gargantuan scale. The garage, no the whole house, seemed to have shrunk!

Shutting off the F150, I discovered another aspect to its tendency to do everything as large as possible. Other engines tick softly while cooling; the F150’s engine CLANGS!

Wednesday / Ulysses
This is one morning I was glad to have awakened early…why? Well because I had a note stuck to my door saying ‘before you go off, please wake me up for F150 instructions’. This is probably the first car I knew which actually came with my own private tutor. I thought to myself…could I really need this? Maybe I could just escape without my brother even knowing. To my dismay, the key wasn’t in the cabinet, so I had to wake my brother up just for him to lecture me on the workings of an all-American truck.

When my brother and I went down, I was actually awestruck by the size of this truck! Compared to the adjacent Galant, this thing is huge! It took up most of the garage space even though I actually made more room than necessary the night before.

Generally, I have nothing against big trucks. The only thing that sucked was that this thing didn’t have a practical invention called a ‘trunk’. This is perhaps the first vehicle I had to be contented with putting my things at the rear jump seats. Climbing on board this barge, and starting her up, I quickly noticed a similarity between the F150 and FUSO engines (could they be long lost brothers?) Having remembered to latch the hand-released (ala Mercedes) parking brake and how to operate the column shifter, I went out just in time to scare the living daylights out of a neighbor. He was probably just as dumbstruck as I was when I noticed the F150’s uncar-like behavior. The F150 generally danced around and steered though corners just like a huge tour bus. The only sound missing was the latter’s airbrakes.

One thing I hated about this test vehicle is that it isn’t tinted. In effect, I find it disturbing to see people actually gawking at you just because you drive an F150. It’s even harder when you actually see truck drivers eye-level for the first time. I don’t know whether to laugh at myself or just try to hide (partly in shame for depleting our gas resources quickly).

When I reached Ateneo, I was lucky to get a parking space wherein the rear is plotted with grass. Hallelujah I thought, at least this thing would be easy to park today…or so I thought. After going to for lunch and having laughs at how big the F150 is, I went back to the parking lot just to find out that it’s full to the brim. When I was just about to give up, I saw an opening parallel to a Toyota Corona and Corolla. I parked and adjusted the vehicle to make sure that the cabin is well in-between these two. However, when I went down, I was actually surprised that this truck took up the size of the whole Corona plus a fourth of the Corolla! It’s $*%$# huge! I was laughing inside and more so when an F150 Lariat decided to park beside me.

Bringing it back home, the ride was rather uneventful sans for the ever-present gawkers. Garaging the F150 is a different experience altogether because I required assistance from my brother. It’s not the vehicle’s width that was the problem but it’s length. Being much longer than 5 meters, we could have bumped the pick-up especially when you can’t see whole pick-up bed. The rear-wheel drive made it no easier either because in backing up the truck, the weight transfers to the front tires and the rear tires easily lose their grip.

Cleaning the F150 is also a tedious job. If a normal sedan would take around 30 minutes to clean, the huge F150 took a full hour and a lot of water (again, it this truck depletes our natural resources quickly!)

Wednesday Night / Ulysses

Since it’s close to Chinese New Year, my brother and I decided to deliver Chinese tikoy using the F150. Because of the truck’s high eye height, the F150 has excellent visibility over a normal car. In fact, the range of vision is so far that it’s easy to predict the best lane / best way to get to the destination. The F150 lamps are adequate providing great night vision at the expense of blinding the car directly in front of you.

After delivering the tikoy, we decided to bring the F150 to Starbucks Katipunan for a short photo shoot and some Frappuccino. Unfortunately, we found the F150 a rock to park (not piece of cake) especially given that the parking space for the Starbucks coffee bar is too darn small. So, without getting our fill of Frappuccino, but getting some good photos, we headed back home.

Thursday / Jason
This morning began most unusually, not least of which because I was driving this truck for the first time in real traffic. And what traffic there was! 5:56 am, the F150’s clock duly informed me, and already Marcos Highway in Marikina was clogged solid! I checked my own watch; the clock was correct.

At this point of the highway we usually had to merge 90 degrees from standstill into traffic that blitzes by at 90 km/h or more. Today, we had a different kind of merging problem. How to join the highway traffic when those darned jeepneys stick together so tightly even Palito, rest his soul, couldn’t have slipped through. With a little intimidation and some fancy footwork (hey, only two pedals!), we managed to squeeze in. I guess when the jeepney drivers believe that “my vehicle will sustain more damage than your vehicle” they do give way.

We also had to turn the truck 180 degrees into a turnoff from the highway, with traffic surrounding the truck on all sides like an ameba about to ingest its food. I discovered that it’s rather difficult to change lanes in bumper-to-bumper traffic. I couldn’t squeeze into a space the way I would in a Corolla. Keeping others out of your lane, though, is much easier. After all, when car drivers can only see an endless expanse of blue metal through their window, they can’t push you around.

“You will get the shock of your lives when you reach Katipunan Road,” warned Traffic Angel Pia from her overhead transportation. Couldn’t agree more. Seems that the remains of some saint were being displayed in the Sta. Clara convent, and devoted Catholics that we are, we just couldn’t resist turning the whole Katipunan avenue into a parking lot. And devoted public servants that the Quezon City officials were, they were not prepared for this influx of people, and we had to crawl in the one lane that was still moving.

We got to Greenhills just in time-for breakfast! I parked it near another Ford behemoth, the Club Wagon. It’s one of the few vehicles that when you park beside it, do not make the F150 look huge.

Taking advantage of the near-empty parking lot, I snapped a few photos. I also gauged the reaction of passersby as they could clearly see the truck among the empty spaces. I was surprised that even the Greenhills morning taichi practitioners, who don’t seem to bat an eyelid to anything, took notice of the truck and commented on it as they walked by.

“Yes, that’s the F150…big, isn’t it?”

“That’s the biggest selling vehicle in the States.”

Yup. They knew what this truck was.

After breakfast, I drove to a bank, then to a manufacturing plant in Mandaluyong. The security guards at these two places, who had paid my previous vehicles no heed suddenly snapped to attention. Heck, they even helped me park. I don’t think they were nervous that I might hit other cars. It’s just that the truck does foster a sense of goodwill among “spectators,” particularly security guards. I suppose it’s the sort of friendly interest that a New Beetle generates, except at twice the scale.

Seeing that I had some free time before my lunch meeting, I decided to drop by Ethan Allen on Pioneer Street in Mandaluyong. I’ve been eyeing some of their great-looking furniture, and with the F150’s long truck bed, who knows? I might take home a couch! They did have some items that I liked and were reasonably priced. However, with the intermittent rain and the F150’s open truck bed, I decided to schedule a delivery by closed van instead. Better not to take any foolish risks.

Thursday Night / Jason

It wasn’t easy to pack four passengers along with five badminton rackets, five bags, jugs of water and various other everyday accoutrements into the truck, but they all fit, barely.
The cabin between the dash and the front seats is actually a large expanse of empty space, and we stuffed a lot of bags in this area.

Thankfully, only one person was the bulky type, and he fit comfortably into the front seat. He enjoyed his ride in the F150 and after a few minutes through traffic, remarked, “The only vehicle more intimidating that this would be an M1 A1 Abrams tank!”

The other three were petite women (girls?) who squeezed into the jump seat. Actually 2/3 of the jump seat, as we folded the 1/3 to serve as a shelf for the bags. Yes, it was uncomfortable, and yes, the back seat had no headrest, no thigh support and a pathetic excuse of a seatback. But the girls loved it, too. There’s something about this truck that attracts women. Maybe that’s why he got one…

Friday / Ulysses
The final day I was to drive the F150, so I made the most of it. Driving to Ateneo, I again found a great spot to park the F150 with the biggest berth possible to make sure the whole mass would fit in with the other cars. I, of course, am afraid that other cars may try to squeeze right passed the F150 (this is college parking!), but to my surprise, I found the other cars are actually staying more than a two feet away from the F150. Why? Maybe because they thought I needed the extra berth to make it out of my space, and they gave me the space to avoid being dented by this beast. In short, it wasn’t me who should be afraid of the F150’s size…it’s the other people.

I generally did the same routine I did during Wednesday, but this time, no F150 Lariat parked beside me. This time, it was a Nissan Patrol Safari, and again, I was surprised at how much this thing dwarfed the once huge Nissan 4 x 4! When I went to class and came back to the F150, I was surprised to see something stuck to the windshield. It was a note saying ‘F150 styling kits now available’. Looking around, I saw no other cars having the same note. Could this mean that the F150 is already approaching cult-car status? It could well be…

Friday Night / Jason

Unexpectedly, we had to let the FISO rest for that night. Being Chinese New Year Eve, we had a family get-together. Pa was somewhat enthusiastic to ride the truck. (Let me dispel any visions of an overall-wearing, hay-gathering dad here. We’re not in Kansas.) But Ma absolutely refused to get on board the thing. We were disappointed, but then, it is a long way up and down that seat. If ever she did sprain, strain or pull something clambering up or down, we’d never hear the end of it. So rest night for the pickup.

Saturday / Jason
One of my most dreaded tasks for the week was getting the F150 down to the basement of Edsa Shangri-La. But, except having to readjust my line by backing up after the entrance barrier, the descent was pretty easy. Just don’t look above when driving around the basement; you’ll feel as if the truck will scrape its roof on the garage ceiling! Good thing the clearance bar at the entrance was accurate; no problem here.

Rainstorms prompted my friend to call me and request that I not go through any floods that I encounter. I had no doubt that we could plow through the Marikina River in this thing (well, okay-at a selected, shallow part of the river), with better success than the plastic carabaos lined up in the Riverbanks Center. But I respected my friend’s restriction. Besides, I didn’t encounter any floodwaters that day.

Saturday night / Jason

Going home and alone once more, I drove along EDSA. The truck’s 4.2 liter V6 is very powerful. It’s 345 Nm of torque (that’s more than 3 Kia Pride engines combined) propels this 1924 kg vehicle as if the weight was nonexistent. Not surprisingly, too, as this thing can tow its own weight plus that of a 2260 kg trailer. With just me as the cargo, it was very fast, particularly if you keep the revs up to the 4000 rpm level. The truck engine noise is suddenly replaced by an enormous sports-car roar!

I also discovered that there are some instances when the F150’s behavior is unacceptable to me as a driver. When going at highway speeds, say about 90 km/h, the truck behaves well and feels secure enough. However, inadvertently hit a pothole, even a minor dip in the highway at those speeds, and the truck lurches and bounces about, not quite sure which direction to go. The steering doesn’t help things, either-it’s lifeless and imprecise. Those bobbing motions of the truck’s body, and the eerie silence coupled with the squeaks from the plastics were driving me nuts!

Sunday Morning / Jason
Time to return the F150. I took one last good look at the cockpit. It has a 6-disc CD changer, auto transmission, soft plastics, all power features. This is a pickup?!

We had the shock of our lives when we filled it up with Velocity, our friend’s preferred poison. The tank read half-full, and it had travelled 196 km. The truck gulped down 51.82 liters of the blue gas! That made for 3.78 km / liter! We weren’t trying for any fuel economy records, but we didn’t abuse the truck either-just normal driving with one demonstration to show a souped-up Civic what fast really meant. That fuel mileage is simply awful! At today’s prices, that’s about P4.24 per km traveled, or about P211 for a 50-km city drive. Heck, even a fuel-thirsty sedan like the Accord can manage the same distance for less than P130. Still, if you can afford the truck…

We returned the truck to its rightful owner, and regretted having injured it-some unexplained scratches on the right flanks. He was not too happy about that, but he was surely glad to have his baby back.

This vehicle is clearly a case of love it or loathe it. Inevitably, anyone will have a foolish grin stuck to his face when first driving the F150. However, the initial novelty of driving a tall, large, powerful truck wears off after a few days.

Our five-day test was just long enough for the grin to wear off and for me to decide that: I cannot live with this tub. The towering ride height, immensely powerful engine, and the goodwill (or terror) of motorists and spectators were simply amazing. But the penalties of instability, lack of a real back seat and secure luggage space, difficulty in parking and huge fuel bill were for me too high a price to pay.

Good thing, too, because the truck’s owner was asking for it back already. He falls into the love-it category. So we returned the FISO, and went back to driving a sedan. Once again riding low and anonymous, I felt like I suddenly lost my superpowers. Still, it was fun being Superman for a week.

By Jason Ang & Ulysses Ang | Photos by Jason Ang & Ulysses Ang