Not Enough Magic: Isuzu Crosswind (2008)

In describing a Japanese car, one usually doesn’t use German words—after all, those are reserved for German cars. But, in the case of the Isuzu Crosswind, I’ll make an exception. You see, the beauty of the German language lies in its straightforwardness; and what takes a phrase to explain in English takes only a word in Bavarian. And so, what’s the best way to describe Isuzu’s undying MPV (sorry, the AUV is a practically dead segment)? Schadenfreude.

Fans of the Broadway musical Avenue Q (which I found quite entertaining) would certainly get it by now, but for those who were unfortunate enough to miss it, read on and you’ll probably get the gist. Our avid followers would know by now that we’ve pretty much tested every Crosswind variant since its inception as the ‘Hi-Lander Crosswind’ way back in 2001. And every single time, there’s always an interesting back story attached to it. The first was when we rummaged through a construction site and ended up being chased by a guard dog during the shoot. The second was when we wrestled with the difficult automatic transmission and achieved a list of ‘things not to do’ during a fuel mileage challenge. And then, there’s the time when we caused a couple of deaf ears as we drove an XUV with a broken exhaust. The latest one was when I had to bring my girlfriend home after a wisdom tooth extraction. Maybe it’s a good case of Freudian association, but could it be that we simply prejudged the Crosswind each and every time before?

Well, it certainly happened again when a black 2008 Sportivo came knocking on the door one Wednesday afternoon, two days after I drove the Mercedes-Benz C 280. Comparing a Mercedes to an Isuzu is like comparing apples to oranges, so I had to radically shift my thinking. Whereas the C 280 is a high-roller’s car of choice, the Crosswind is designed, marketed and priced to be a truly attainable aspirational car for the Filipino family. So, I gave it a week and judged the Crosswind based simply on that merit. Sadly, it still falls short.

If the Crosswind were a purely two-dimensional piece, like a painting, it’s good. It certainly doesn’t skimp on the chrome with everything (that’s not painted) covered with the stuff. It pushes all the right styling buttons with the body cladding, rear mounted spare tire, sleek one-piece headlamps—basically, it’s machismo on four wheels. Even the interior’s done pretty well too. The Crosswind’s less-than-luxurious appointments have been shown the door and in come a newly molded dashboard with much better integrated controls. And then there’s the standard two-tone leather seats complete with ‘Sportivo’ etched on the headrests (to get the same etching in a Merc, you have to opt for the AMG model). Even the instrument panel’s finished in sporty silver with blue lighting no less. Even the on-board entertainment’s been upped with a JVC in-dash DVD player with a back-up camera!

Unfortunately for the Crosswind, it’s not a Picasso. It’s a moving piece of machinery that should run as well as it looks. And if you have to take ‘photo may vary from actual unit’ very seriously, it’s with this car. Despite all the visual upgrades, the fit is still nowhere the level of its competitors. Outside, the Crosswind is decently put together, solid and uses good-quality materials, but the large and inconsistent panel gaps are unacceptable by today’s standards. Things just get worse inside where the cabin material quality ranges from luxurious to downright nasty. The leather appointments are genuinely fine as is the entertainment system. But the stalks and switches still have a cheap click during engagement. Even the air conditioning controls rely on an antiquated slide switch system—something even the Chinese cars have progressed from.

The ergonomics are as prehistoric as you can get with a fixed steering column and a driver’s seat that’s merely adjustable four ways. It’s hard to find a genuinely comfortable driving position with the oddly set pedals (sorry, no footrest), a long throw shifter and a hand brake that’s buried almost to the floor. Given time though, you’ll surely adjust to it, but I think you’ll be close friends with your chiropractor too. The seating has been modernized since the dropping of the ’10-seater rule’, but it’s still nowhere near cutting-edge. The second row folds and tumbles with a 60:40 ratio, but the multitude of levers means the operation is a three-stage affair with the last one having you reach a greasy pull tab beneath the seat cushion. The third row offers jump seat comfort levels at best with the knees up position plus the bench relies on gravity to keep itself bolted onto the floor, not too good if the rearmost passengers are anorexic.

And going further on safety subject, the Crosswind doesn’t have any of the usual safety ABC’s. There are no airbags, anti-lock brakes or even pretensioners on the seatbelts. In fact, this is one car that relies on 1970’s safety tech: a padded steering wheel and padded dashboard. Heck, even the second and third row relies on mere lap belts for all occupants meaning child seat installation is a no-go here. For 2008, Isuzu gave the range-topping Sportivo rear parking sensors and a back-up camera. Though the parking sensors are certainly commendable, I can’t say the same with the camera, where the image displayed on the JVC head unit is actually mirrored (flipped left to right).

In terms of performance, it’s a given that brute force capability has been prioritized over refinement, but given the way the competition has moved forward, one would half expect Isuzu to follow suit. It hasn’t. A turbocharged engine brings the notion of speed and power, but on the Crosswind, the ‘mild’ turbo was merely plopped in to make it Euro-2 emissions compliant (though, there is a 4 bhp and 19 Nm increase). The five-speed manual has spaced gearing meaning it’s meant to pull and haul rather than quickly achieve triple digit speeds. Ask it to climb a steep incline and it won’t break a sweat. The sheer nature of a diesel engine allows the Crosswind to drive uphill as if the landscape was flat Oddly, when the landscape is flat, it doesn’t seem to accelerate that much faster. 100 km/h comes at around 25 seconds (according to CAGI tests), so you’ll be easy picking of overtaking Chery QQs and Kia Prides.

With the absence of common rail injection, the engine’s makes itself known from the inside. The Crosswind’s engine is mounted in front, but it might as well as be under your seat. At idle, the sound is even but uncomfortably noticeable. There’s a manual choke dial enabling you to fiddle with the resting rpm, but it doesn’t seem to do anything. Thrash the engine passed 4,000 rpm and your passengers will beg you to give it a rest. This is one engine that won’t have you fantasizing about racing around the city streets—it even shudders like a truck the moment you turn it off.

After spending almost a week with the 2008 Crosswind, I’m sad to say that Freudian association had nothing to do with how we’ve passed judgment on it before. I gather it must be because of the price. At any time during its existence, the Crosswind, particularly the Sportivo variant has always relied on premium pricing. The latest one trumps them all with a P 1.070-million asking price. This easily puts the Crosswind above its much more modern competition. And now for our German vocabulary lesson, in the beginning, I opened by describing driving the Crosswind as ‘Schadenfreude’. Perhaps you’ll have some idea by now. For those who still don’t, ‘Schadenfreude’ meaning ‘enjoying the misfortune or misery of others’. And that’s the exact feeling I get whenever I see someone driving one on the road.

By Ulysses Ang | Photos by Jason K. Ang