Dear Chicdriven,
My husband, who just turned 40 plus, started acting weird. He is not really a car person. But for some reason, he bought himself a sports car. He also started doing scalp treatments and going to the derma. He started lifting weights and playing badminton, when before his idea of exercising was doing several laps going to and from the TV and the ref. He started wearing colorful sneakers and basketball shoes. I’m a little bit perplexed.
Yours truly,
Dazed and confused
Dear Dazed and confused,
It seems like your husband is suffering a bout of midlife crisis. I am no expert, and definitely not a clinical psychologist, but the symptoms are typical to people undergoing this change. Midlife crisis, is not exclusive to men; it is when one comes to a point in life—which is subjectively perceived as the middle of one’s lifespan—where one experiences a certain dissatisfaction to what he/she has achieved and has done with his/her life.
According to Wikipedia, the term was first coined by Elliot Jaques to describe a critical phase in your life between 40 and 60, sometimes sooner, when one comes face-to-face with his or her mortality. Commonly known reactions for women are obsession with trying to bring back time and getting sexier; for men, they become more obsessed with becoming healthy, engaging in extreme sports, or buying a car.
Buying a car seems to be one of the biggest signs, since it has both a financial and behavioral impact for men who are experiencing midlife crisis. Other manifestations of midlife crisis are actually very advantageous, such as exercising and being healthier.
To further enlighten you on the subject, here are some facts and commonly mistaken aspects on it:
Men Experiencing Midlife Crisis (MEMC) will always buy a sports car.
FICTION: Some buy a sports car, some buy an SUV or pickup, while others buy motorbikes or really expensive bicycles. But it will really depend on the person.
Flashy red is the color of choice for MEMC.
FICTION: Red is not the color of choice. I asked some supercar retailers; all of them agreed that people in that age group will most likely buy silver or black. This was also supported by a survey conducted by the US site thecarconnection.com, which said that red will come in third after black and grey.
Porsche is the go-to car.
FACT: Although there are a variety of cars that people buy during this period, there is a basis why Porsches are the stereotypical car for a man undergoing midlife crisis. It’s because Porsche is something men can drive everyday but will still exude the luxurious sports car persona. Since most MEMC have families, majority can only have one “play car.”
The car is a representation of what they think they have become.
FACT: MEMC usually try to recapture their youth with their bigger dispensable income. So their perceived persona and what was cool at the happiest point of their lives is the person they would try to become during this period.
A younger girlfriend is the next step.
INCONCLUSIVE: Although the majority of the people said the reason behind buying a sports car is to impress the younger set, men I have talked with said that usually it is a choice between a car or a girl. Although some will do both, others will just choose one. (Take this with a grain of salt, please.)
You should be supportive, but space is more important.
FACT: MEMC is the height of “it’s not you, it’s me” mentality. Some women go to the length of trying to enjoy the same thing, while other just let their men be. Giving them space to figure out their issue will help rather than hovering over them.
Top 10 midlife crisis-worthy cars
1) Porsche Boxster or Cayman
2) Ferrari California
3) Toyota FJ Cruiser
4) Ford Mustang
5) Chevrolet Camaro
6) Mazda MX-5
7) BMW M5
8) Audi R8
With that said, hope that you can figure out the situation. We wish you luck.
(All characters except topic sources are fictitious. So I hope nobody feels that they are being singled out by this article. Peace. For comments and suggestions, please e-mail me at [email protected], follow me on Instagram/Chicdriven, or like us on facebook/chicdriven.)
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