The race to the highest position in the land is nearing its final turn. Wait, did we mean that literally?
Let’s tweak this interesting angle a bit. For so long, Inquirer Motoring has been matching political personalities with the automobiles they’d like to be seen in.
This time, we wonder, what metal beast of burden would our five aspiring presidents be likened to, if in a crazy trip of reality they could transform themselves into a car?
So, we asked our game and imaginative sources just that. And here are their
answers.
Just a reminder, dear reader: You may or may not take these things seriously. But for sure, the fun’s intended, right to the very last loose screw our noble “transformers” throw each other’s way.
Grace Poe: ‘Filipinized’ Ford
“Sen. Grace Poe could be a Ford Expedition painted with the Philippine colors,” quipped journalist Junep Ocampo.
Auto customization whiz kid Atoy Lim Llave thinks the same. “Poe is an Expedition—tough, strong and made in the USA.”
“I think of Poe as a ‘Pink Cadillac,’ a song popularized by Bruce Springsteen from the B side of ‘Dancing in the Dark,’” said auto expert Alexander Loinaz.
“Grace would be like a Tesla—a new breed with electrifying wisdom. Though not fully tested but the talent is promising and the performance can be trusted,” said Ferdinand Raquelsantos, chair of the Electric Vehicle Association of the Philippines.
“She’s a Toyota Hi-Ace, which appeals to families and bonds them together,” said businessman Peter Dinglasan.
Rodrigo Duterte:
Battle-scarred jeepney
“Rodrigo Duterte is a bullet-proof jeepney, the king of the road with a devil-may-care attitude,” declared Ocampo.
“Duterte is like the controversial Hennessey Venom GT, the fastest sportscar to date with deadly speed records,” quipped Loinaz.
“He’s an off-road vehicle, like an Isuzu
D-Max. Get ready for some rough sailing but built strong and trustworthy. However, constant high-revving may blow-by its combustion chamber,” said Raquelsantos.
“He’s a Montero Sport, associated with sudden unintended acceleration,” said Dinglasan.
“I liken Duterte to a Rubicon—no matter how bad the roads are, he can still pass through,” said Llave.
Mar Roxas: An elite Porsche
Ocampo: “Mar Roxas is a heavily tinted Mercedes-Benz. He thinks everything is well even if they are not.”
Loinaz: “He is the Beetle, reintroduced but plagued with faltering sales.”
Raquelsantos: “He’s like the Montero SUV, dependable but doubted due to its sudden unintended flare-ups (controversies). It’s an all-terrain vehicle with all the features and party machineries. Sporty as it is, it can be quick and take the checkered flag.”
Dinglasan: “He’s a Porsche, which is for the affluent.”
Llave: “He’s a Mahindra—often traveling around the Philippines and present during crises.”
Jejomar Binay: Smuggled BMW 7
Ocampo: “I liken Binay to a smuggled BMW 7 Series. Living the life of a king by stealing.”
Loinaz: “He is the Batmobile of the Dark Knight.”
Dinglasan: “He’s a Mercedes-Benz 100 van made in Korea, considering people’s comparative preferences.”
Anonymous car enthusiast: “He’s like a taxi… [it] keeps collecting.”
Llave: “He is a Mercedes-Benz G Class. It always fits in any occasion and looks tough.”
Miriam Defensor-Santiago:
A Kia Pride
Ocampo: “Miriam is a 1992 Mercedes-Benz that is not well-maintained and might break down anytime.”
Loinaz: “She is a Rolls-Royce with the emblem ‘Spirit of Ecstasy’ flying mascot ornament on the hood who seems to be timeless and tireless.”
Raquelsantos: “She is like a restored Vintage Porsche. The design and brain are outstanding. It drives with authority. It may be old in looks, but remains iconic. Valves may not be fuel injected but still pumping hard.”
Dinglasan: “She’s a Kia Pride, for the masses but relegated to the sidelines.”
Do you agree with their imageries?
Remember, it’s still anybody’s race. Crazier finishes have happened in the political circuit.
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